xkcd Time Wiki


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NoisyCartographer: "Guys, guys:
The comic strip is tantalizing us with its slow reveal.
We are experiencing a strip tease." [1]

Fitzypyro: "I think everyone is just too focused on Time to worry about The Past." [2]

Helper: "Which confirms something interesting: the operation is definitely being watched by somebody in real-time.  Or the server has become self-aware, we seems reasonably likely at this point." [3]

peewee_RotA: "A massive thread without a flame war? It's about Time!" [4]

TheMulattoMaker: "I humbly submit that we begin measuring time in 'newpix', equal to thirty standard minutes." [5]

NoEdge: "From your 140 newp(ix, I'm assuming) comment, I'll assume that one day is... 46 2/3 newpix.  What an impractical unit of measurement.  Why would you use days?" [6]

riverssong: "I waited half an hour for one darkening pixel!" [7]

GodRaimundo: "There are no 'days'.  'Days' are an invention by those who would have us believe in the Outside.  And where would we be if we all went around listening to them all day?" [8]

NoEdge: "On another note, I think we've started a religion.  I'm not sure whether to be horrified or amazed." [9]

Helper: "[...] newpix: it is used both as a unit of time equal to 30 minutes, and a unit of a quantized amount of new updates to The Sandcastle." [10]

inhalvast: "Isn't that the way of all religions? We get so caught up in the specifics, we lose sight of the true meaning of the faith." [11]

Helper: (stopping primis from writing a chrome extension to convert timestamps to newpix) "For what it's worth, if you're as sleep deprived as most of us, trying to write code with the intention of other people running might legally be considered an act of cyber-terrorism." [12]

riverssong: "This is Time. This is what it does. This is what it's FOR - building castles in the sand, and watching other people build castles in the sand, and finding significance and humour in it all." [13]

peewee_RotA: "(I metric.  He was a nice guy)" [14]

Mr Moriaty: "To be honest after starting a new religion and redefining time, I think starting a new civilization is the only real way forwards from here." [15]

KroniK907: "I need a t-shirt that says 'I was there from the beginning of Time'" [16]

TheMulattoMaker: "When I stumbled out of bed this morning, I had no idea I'd accidently a meme, let alone inadvertently a religion." [17]

PhoenixRising: "What is this sleep you speak of? There is only the castle. All must yield to the castle." [18]

Ayriannah: "Please don't forcefeed Cueball Babies, even if they are caffeine-babies." [19]

benjaminswill: "I'm having the urge to just post "Wait for it." as a reply to every message." [20]

Whizbang: "[I]n conclusion, they have frozen time and are making the castles just to shock people when time is resumed. Potentially, the Black Hat Guy is off somewhere putting pull-up bars on escellators and carving his own image onto Mt. Rushmore." [21]

fixer: "I think I'm gonna need more caffeine. I can't have seen this correctly." [22]

astrotter: (during an argument about what the lake was made of, or if it was even a lake at all) "It is not particularly clear to me at this time that we are not overanalyzing this..." [23]

Nerd Mike: "Have you ever had a perfect day and wished you could make it last forever?" [24]

bigcrag92: "so we have a sea/lake made of [water / ice / coffee / oobleck / bacon / semen/ redbull / methane] and a land made of [sand / snow / rock / ground coffee / semen]? am I up to speed or have I missed some..." [25]

yangosplat: "So many amazing quotes, so little room in 300 characters!" [26]

Helper: "You know a thread is horrifying when even the mods abandon it." [27]

Mr Moriarty: "WHAT? yesterday I missed the formation of a cult and today i miss sex behind a common non-uk convenience store. I am NOT going to bed tonight in-case i miss the second coming of Elvis." [28]

k.bookbinder: (after Mod Madness filters took effect) "I shall explain: Each frame of Things that are on my side for 600, Alex! be 1 Things that are on my side for 600, Alex! Frame. It be a static moment in Things that are on my side for 600, Alex!. The Things that are on my side for 600, Alex! between two Things that are on my side for 600, Alex! Frames be measured as 1 Newpix (NP). One tin be-did, "I stepped away for 1/2 a NP and suddenly we have a religion?" and mean that they be-did go-done for approximately half the Things that are on my side for 600, Alex! it woll-did take to transition from 1 Things that are on my side for 600, Alex! Frame to a new Things that are on my side for 600, Alex! Frame, which woll-did be 1 NP. However, if the Things that are on my side for 600, Alex! Frame changes, regardless of how much Things that are on my side for 600, Alex! has passed in the Outside world (outside of Things that are on my side for 600, Alex!), then it be still 1NP. There be no exact direct correlation between the passage of Things that are on my side for 600, Alex! (or Things that are on my side for 600, Alex! in Things that are on my side for 600, Alex!) and standard measurements of Things that are on my side for 600, Alex! in the Outside world." [29]

chem1190c: (on page 164 of the thread, after watching the discussion grow steadily more insane) "I'm pretty sure this thread jumped the shark a good 163 pages ago.. and then at some point that shark was crushed to death by friendly fire from a trebuchet" [30]

bugstomper: "There be no such font as "catapult MS". Obviously since the letters be sans serif and floating in the air the font be Aerial." [31]

Dark Avorian: (in reference to Mod Madness and the approaching Easter/April Fools Day) "It's that time of year again. Check the calendars. There is a wonderful holiday approachin' and not the one with the creepy rodent." [32]

Helper: "The great thing about this thread is that it can turn any everyday situation into a hilarious nightmare:
Helper goes to Starbux: 'I'd like one coffee, please. Hold the baby!'
'What? You're, like, weird.'
'Y-Y-You too...'"

Exodies: "You haven't missed anything. We still don't get the joke after moving our entire virtual and spiritual lives on here." [33]

AionArap: (denying any first-hand experience with Sodium) "Never, I've also never dropped a piece into a bottle of coke. You can't prove I did, because there was nothing left of the bottle." [34]

Helper: "Pfft, lessons! You know, back in my day, if we wanted to injure ourselves with chemicals, we had to do it on our own!" [35]

Helper: "'US,
pls send plootunium.
Thnx.'" [36]

Mr Moriarty: "So this is my 100th post in this thread...... A shocking amount.
I feel I should say something profound and in keeping with the decorum and level of this thread.

Titty Bacon" [37]

higgs-boson: (helping bigcrag92 find his coffee) "You put it in the bottom drawer of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard'.

And it is cold." [38]

cellocgw: "Seems to me the last 5 or 10 pages look far more like talk.bizarre than xkcd forums. Have we been assimilated by a group of lost souls from the roaring 90's of Usenet?" [39]

Ebonite: (referring to buffygirl's newest hat) "Asking if we liked your newest hat made me think of this:" (image) [40]

StratPlayer: "Ah, thank you for bringing the clarity of the TimeFrame to my imperfect human brain. I struggled over NewPix, newpic, longpix, DongPix, DongKeyPix, PicsOfDongKeyDong and other imperfect measurements of Time. I was on the verge of MenoPause there, and verily, I was feeling the crankiness and moodiness of its heathen influence.

I am now enlightened...

EDITED TO ADD: ...although I still crave chocolate" [41]

nighthoover: ">>you will have to warm the governor's cold hart with a hot island song...

*clears throat*


I want a hat please
Can I have a hat?
I want a hat please because it's rather cold outside and I have to go to the pub very soooooooon

Thank you." [42]

Montov: "Megan is gone, so I think this is the end. Bringing in the pole was the punchline. Only an Outsider would not get that hilarious and beautiful ending." [43]

kryton: "That tint[sic] trebuchet is soooo Adorable! :D
This is also a Most auspicious occasion and president breaking, the zoom in is the most change in frame since the beginning of time! My heart is beating right through my chest. I fee joy, rapture, a renewed sense of hope, a quickening in my breath, a tightness in my chest ... A tingling in my left arm? Someone pass me my nitro glycerine! Quick!" [44]

higgs-boson: "Your exquisite enumeration (Oxford comma duly noted) misses a very, very fast hockey puck.

Or a piece of chocolate cake, an ice-cream cone, a pickle, a slice of swiss cheese, a slice of salami, a lollipop, a piece of cherry pie, a sausage, a cupcake, a slice of watermelon, and a very, very hungry caterpillar" [45]

cmyk: "I assume she was shooting rocks, but who knows, it could've been driftwood, dirt clods, plutonium pellets, a woodchuck, an icosahedrons made out of dead leaves, her used tampons, or even her own poop." [46]

cmyk: "Ha. No, no, you're right on. Catching is all instinct, and gut-based reflexes. It's Pitching that requires a slide rule, some calculus, an elaborate set up of liquid nitrogen cooled lasers and prisms, and as much graph paper the umpire will let you bring on the mound.

Why do you think baseball games are so frikkin' long? It's the nerdiest non-contact sport there is." [47]

TachikomaD: "My life has certainly changed once I stopped shaving and started mumbling "caffeinesemencancerbabies" once every Newpix." [48]

SBN: "If you want sensible, you're going to have to look somewhere else." [49]

StratPlayer: "At least you used the polite form as a request, instead of demanding pie: 'Nazi spoonfish Velociraptor chittering!'" [50]

StratPlayer: (answering the 9000th new user to ask why they couldn't post images) "Every 400 newpixs, Lord Randall randomly selects a new forum member to torment with the inability to post links and pictures. You must sell all your possessions and send the money to me in order to appease him. If you do this with maximum haste, he may smile upon you and grant you the forum privileges you seek." [51]

BlitzGirl: (in the middle of an epic quest to read every post of the thread from the very beginning) "I speak to you now from another dark era, pre-Recursion, where Cueball labors alone on the Sandcastle. The posts chatter endlessly of strange bestiality, involving an uncle named Jack beating off a horse (or somesuch). The Madness has ended, but the madness that pervades this thread persists, as it has for all Time. It is a constant in my travels, and I have come to find it comforting." [52]

fhorn: "Many thanks, oh GLHI Dracomax! I would have thanked you sooner but I was checking my eyelids for holes. Part of my knightly Knighty Knight duties." [53]

BlitzGirl: "The Time Less Traveled

Two Times diverged in a forum thread: The Now, and newpages long since made. But which to wander? In my head Current posting, the past unread, Meant I would not be long delayed.

But lack context? I wouldn't dare - So back into the past I went. The One True Comic waited there With newpix left by users fair And discussions of religious bent.

Both Times that day appeared as just. I chose the posts that had amassed. And in Time, I knew I surely must Re-glimpse the Now that was discussed, Although by then it would be Past.

I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere newpix and newpix hence: Two Times diverged in a thread and I — I chose the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." [54]

ZombieLion: "An alternative solution to the low pH level would be to send a group of Knights Temporal1 to politely inform2 the Outsiders that all their base are belong to us." [55]


edo: "And She realize not how grand Her quest, and what power She holds. Though She starts Her journey as a humble Traveler, the journey itself will give Her the wisdom and the bravery to take the charge that is to come." [57]

cmyk: "Holy spherical-vacuum-cow... I am truly humbled, and accept the Almighty Staff of Photoshoppery by running around the house screaming like a teenage girl who just got tickets to a Justin Bieber concert." [58]

StratPlayer: (answering BlitzGirl's concerns about her new legendary status) "Unfortunately it has evolved to the point where it matters not how you view yourself -- you've been elevated to legendary status by virtue of your deeds. the people have spoken.

Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them

I think you've both achieved and been thrusted..." [59]

StratPlayer: "More dialog!

Although we seem to have become sadly bereft of the guidance of those of the various sects of the holy Time religions, that they might guide us by their enlightened revelation of meaning behinds the words of Megan and Cueball.

So here's my un-enlightened take:

Lord Randall is definitely fucking with us..." [60]

StratPlayer: "If 'It' was for I.T., I'd think it would have been written more like,

'Does IT reign over the C++?'


I'll be dammed -- 200th post!!! To celebrate in the proper way, I'd like to submit this illustrious quote in honor of Our-Pope-who-once-was-but-who's-now-long-gone-missing-and-probably-found-somthing-much-better-to-do-with-his-Time-like-cleaning-his-shower-grout-with-his-toothbrush-or-plucking-lint-from-his-navel-with-tweezers-made-from-wombat-claws, Helper:

'penis!'" [61]

StratPlayer: "What?!?!

As with much of Time -- a significant revelation was missed as the Timewaiters debated theological minutia amongst themselves.

There are hills, people! Hills!!! The places where the billies live; that are alive with music; where there might be gold in them, thar'; and the places where the streets have the blues!!!" [62]

Asthanius: "But I can't start my mornings without Folgers Infant Instant Coffee!" [63]

Febrion: "I wonder if cueball is really an AI powered by BBCode..." [64]

StratPlayer: "Oh, yeah... Well, if you use base-10 numbers, it's (approximately) 3.14... But in base-head-up-my-ass numbers, it's 3.41


Sheesh..." [65]

fhorn: "Ducks flying vegetables? Really, now, this is getting ridiculous.
First of all, where would they even get pilots' licences???" [66]

Asthanius: "Strangely enough, it rains cats and dogs. Not only do we not know how they get up there, but we don't know why they keep going back up or how they got to the middle of the sea in the first place." [67]

Asthanius: "I feel that shooting a somebody out of a cannon may be detrimental to their health." [68]

richP: "How many woods would a wood duck duck if a wood duck would duck woods?" [69]

Whizbang: "'Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present."'
-Oogway" [70]

edo: "Ritalin doesn't work on XKCDADD, you need Randallin." [71]

Caswallon: "Well, considering that so far everything in the One True Comic has abided by all laws of physics, structural analysis, engineering, fluid dynamics, flavor profiles, dimensionality, general relativity, string theory, causality, thermodynamics, and general decency....

Needless to say I'm quite sure the structure is perfectly stable..." [72]

Latent22: "You have discovered The secret to eternal life then!

I think this could be a very promising health research area. Scientists should find how to disable the javascript that causing aging of our bodies and find a way to untick the internal 'javascript enabled' setting in our DNA." [73]

cmyk: "Yuh huh. That's what you get for fuckin' screwing around. It's a bucket on a rope, not a magic jet pack.

Next time you want to do something that stupid, bend your damn knees and lower your center of gravity. Now go get the trebuchet and let's see what happens if we launch stuff after we set it on fire." [74]

chem1190c: "Are you saying you can't see into the future?

I see the future all the time, of course it's on a time delay so I tend to see it a little after the fact.." [75]

StratPlayer: "Foolishly/bravely/blindly trying to hold on to what's familiar in the face of certain onslaught is part and parcel of the human spirit." [76]

Asthanius: "I can't help but feel that "It's snipping time" would be a great catchphrase for a mohel superhero/villain."
HAL9000: "Or the tagline for a really bad slasher flick."
Asthanius: image [77]

cmyk: (discussing how many dimensions are in the Time universe) "In fact, it's far more complicated than that.

It is a holographic projection of an 8D universe — 3 real spacial dimensions and 1 of time / 3 imaginary spacial dimensions with a likewise imaginary dimension of time.

This lays the framework of Complex Spacetime, and as matter accelerates toward the speed of light, its mass/energy is actually being transformed from the real spacetime axis, into the imaginary spacetime (thus resolving the paradoxes of singularities and relativistic time dilation as spacial dimensions would appear to reduce to a point, and time would appear to freeze to an observer).

These characters have been in the process of crossing one threshold into another, the r/i event horizon, if you will, and to get technical, time-wimey dimentional whatchamaweirdness begins to happen to the tides and structural integrity of sandcastle platforms.

That, or it's artistic license on an illustrated comic." [78]

BlitzGirl: "Zeno will never catch me. He has some hangup about a paradox." [79]

BlitzGirl: "How is it that a Whistle of Temporal Harmony causes so much temporal discord?" [80]

silent_death: "I think my life is now officially connected to this thread." [81]

silent_death: "I think it is still nice to think that future Generations will look at this comic in a gif form, probably not unlike yours, and will have absolutly no fucking clue how there can be a meaningful 300+ Page discussion about two people building a sandcastle." [82]

StratPlayer: "We're up to our armpits in titles and are giving them away like mad!! It's like we're at Crazy Randall's Title Shoppe impending flood liquidation sale! All titles must go!!! No unreasonable-borderline-psychotic offer refused!!!" [83]

StratPlayer: "So it's basically like someone wants everyone to shut up, so they decide to add their own voice to the cacophony, interjecting and chiming in with something that adds nothing to the discussion. And then they wonder why the hell it's not quiet? Right?

Hmmm... There might be some sort of Time-needle-pulling-thread application here... Let's discuss!" [84]

Mycroft_147: (referring to BlitzGirl's quest to read the entire thread and the pages of ROT-13 and ROT-I encoded posts she would face) "If she sticks to her quest: To read all. She will be fine. Says nothing about decrypting or comprehending. (Prays silently for her resolve.)" [85]

vvn: "If we listed all frames in which a bucket appeared would it be 'the Bucket List?'" [86]

patzer: "Can you upload the excel book to somewhere we can all access (and download) it? I'd like to see my graph but don't want to keep you too busy..." (note: the excel book and graph in question are posters' posting stats and activity graph)
HAL9000: "[sarcasm]Paste it in-thread, unspoilered.[/sarcasm]"
AluisioASG: "I see BBCode is broken for you too.[/]" [87]

Mycroft_147: "HA, I installed a big red button in a patch-panel once. As an inside joke it did nothing but glow red. After a few months I noticed someone had hung a sign over the button that said 'Do Not Push.' Months later I noticed someone installed a plastic cover over it to prevent it being pressed accidentally ...bureaucracy in action I assumed. :D " [88]

higgs-boson: "xkcd
Pronounciation: /exkayseedee/
verb (xkcds, xkcding, past xkcded, past participle xkcded)
[no object]
> (1) to publish a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.
> (2) to state something incredible witty and clever.
> (3) to create a time sink intelligent people dump their working hours in, and therefore ruining the economic power of companies and countries.
Meanings are not mutually exclusive." [89]

BlitzGirl: "As Time drags on, with little to no progress made on the Platform, the newpages I traverse turn to other entertaiment. The past-posters are currently discussing whether they need to discuss whether it is a worthwhile use of Time to discuss whether the thread of Time is discussing the meaning of Time. Time is supposedly going to end on tax day, and the thread just officially jumped the shark. An epic ballad was penned by jjjdavidson, cmyk is complaining about not having his whistle, and Pope Helper was apparently taken by the Temporal Illuminati. In other words, just another span of newpix on the thread of Time." [90]

StratPlayer: "Ooo-oo-oo! Might I humbly beseech thee for a graph of my own forumisity? All the other kids are gettin' one! I promise to feed it, clean up after it, and I'll cherish it throughout all of Time! Pleeeeeaassseeee? Plllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?" [91]

mojacardave: "Yes - but my work laptop is resisting at the moment.

Why should deleting 9 columns of an Excel spreadsheet, which aren't referenced by any other cells, take 5 minutes?"
StratPlayer: "Maybe your PC is waiting for I.T.?" [92]

cmyk: "It's always reassuring to see a carefully tallied graph depicting precisely how much time I waste in an arbitrary period. 8-)" [93]

StratPlayer: "Heck, ALL numbers are cool!"
mscha: "Which is, of course, easy to prove. Suppose not all (natural) numbers are cool. Then, there's a lowest number that isn't cool - a pretty cool property for a number, which contradicts our assumption. Therefore, all numbers are cool. QED." [94]

descor: "I would humbly suggest that -273.15 is the coolest number ..." [95]

KarMann:  "Well, BlitzGirl is experiencing a bit of a title wave."
BlitzGirl: "You can say that again! *dutifully adds more titles*"
KarMann: "Well, BlitzGirl is experiencing a bit of a title wave." [96]

cellocgw: "Hmmm... 'To order another Moebius strip, see instructions on other side' ?" [97]

Montov: "Finally, a guy to the rescue."
lmjb1964: "Yeah, 'cause that's always helpful." [98]

42isall: (in response to Megan's assertion that the sea does whatever it wants) "I was moved to make this for whatever reason. I feel it is the logical response." (image) [99]

jovialbard: "I was about to say 'Yeah, I mean where can they go from there, how could they make the sand castles any grander...' but then I thought about that, and about Randall and decided it was a dumb thing to say. So I said it anyway! But in quotes!" [100]

Purplepants77: "You know, if you think about it for a minute, things start to make sense of themselves. Don't you see how Cueball and Megan fit in?

They don't understand things happening as Time passes, neither do we.
They try to figure out what it all means, we try to figure out what it all means.
They build magnificent (sand?) creations, we build magnificent forum/wooden/poetic/graphic/hat creations.
They wait for it, we Wait for It.

And so we are all connected in the great circle of life because *we* are the droids we're looking for. We are the Cueball and Megan.

'Wow, you guys are good. I’m the last person I would have suspected, but I was looking for me all the time! It’s the perfect crime!'" [101]

azule: "It's that time again, kids!Ꮸ

BlitzGirl is a small Parisian. She is a kid. Young, full of spiritᏜ, ready to take on the world. Kicking ass and taking gemsᏠ. Her hat holds her power. Which hat it is, I'm sure it does not matter, just that she have a hat. Her hair traps the wind. All stands still until she decides its time to battle. The flags will wave, and so will the sea. She will not fight the castle with her fist or foot. She will unleash the rain and punish us with the river. All will collapse to dust. It will be as it began. Tremble before the might of LaPetite!Ꮚ

ᏠThanks for the gems. I keep them on my mantle. Hmm, would they survive in the fireplace. It would be so pretty.
ᏜGumption / baconcaffeinatedsemencancerbabies.
ᏨBrought to you by the CSA. Where dreams come true . . . because wake-dreams are real. Sorta" [102]

manvandmaan: "I'm not sure either of them has enough Charisma to outclass the sea, but who knows, maybe if they crit." [103]

Dracomax: (following up on his threat to punish anyone else who posted encrypted text in-thread) "I have no idea what you said, so I'm going to assume it's a compliment, and dunk you Chocolate syrup and cover you in chopped licorice.

What, I'm a man of my word." [104]

RobIrr: (borrowing the chocolate syrup from Dracomax before he could coat everyone in it) "Before you taint it with the corpses of the unfaithful, please may I have some for my ice cream? :D" [105]

Dracomax: "Sure. We're1 not monsters.

1The inquisition. Technically, Dragons are monsters2
2Racists put us in the monster manual. They have been noted by the inquisition." [106]

Dracomax: "...and heresy is punished in ways that amuse me. You don't want to amuse me.

because then I start being silly....and we already can't go to Camelot...." [107]

Jonas79: (in response to BlitzGirl's complaints about numerous rot13-encoded messages) "Edit:
RSA encrypted message for BlitzGirl (since she wanted more modern encryptions)." [108]

imhungry: (as speculation grew about the rising sea and Megan & Cueball seemed incapable of doing anything about the flooding) "If it had gone in about 200 Newpix, i would have felt bad.

If it goes now, I might cry a little." [109]

mscha: "I'm a couple of hours early, but it's way past coma time here.
So let me be the first to congratulate ourselves on our one month tempoversary!" (image) [110]

ChronosDragon: "Let's see... 361 is 19 squared... also is a centered triangular number, a centered octagonal number, a centered decagonal number, a member of the Mian–Chowla sequence, and the number of positions on a standard 19 x 19 Go board.

I'm so much smarter sounding when wikipedia's around." [111]

cmyk: "Megan's losing it..." (image) [112]

azule: "The OTC was teaching us from the beginning to enjoy the little things, not to see them as problems that just need to be ignored. Enjoy life, help people. It's your choice." [113]

Eoink: "Delurking briefly to say I'm thinking of getting a t-shirt made with my favourite frames of the OTC displayed in a column below my right armpit. On the front it will simply read 'Time is on my side, yes it is'." [114]

Dracomax: "NO FLAME WARS! We've gone 16259 posts without starting a flame war, and I'll be damned if we start now!

Trebuchets are okay, though."
jovialbard: "Awwww, but Daaaaad." [115]

Dracomax: "Does this feel a bit like High School Graduation, (or possibly the point about halfway through the last book of a long series when you realise that before too much longer, you'll never have new adventures with characters you've grown to love) to anyone else?" [116]

StratPlayer: "I have been doing the art of MultiTasking1 for the last several Newpix...

While slowly catching up on the NewPages I've missed (and I'm not quite current yet), I've also been staying reasonably up-to-date with the new ones (and even got to add the old T-Rex 'Bang-a-Gong' song link as a Newpix post), AND -- more importantly -- have updated my avatar from the old Stratocaster schematic to a much more appropriate one, that is, if I might suggest, much more suitable for hatting2 should any esteemed Arch-Cardinal of Time3 deem it worth of her fabulous haberdashery abilities.

So, if I might humbly request4 a hat of Her Cardinalship, I would be most honored5 and shall wear it proudly for all of Time! I also shall give my utmost6 as Knight Temporal Sir Vincent, Lord Of Nominal Goodness, Defender Of NewPix Glory7 to serve8 Her Cardinalosity in all perpetuity9 for this great honor!

1 An Outsider term form doing many things badly all at once instead of just screwing up one thing at a time.
2 Very carefully, as to avoid the sharp, pointy fangs and the razor-like claws of the guitaroraptor, of course...
3 Lady Buffygirl, I'm lookin' at you, my Dear...
4 i.e., read: Beg endlessly, with much whining and grovelling!
5 and squeal like a little girl as I do my happy-dance twirl of joy!
6 Provided I don't actually have to do anything, of course.
7 aka 'Sir Vinnie LONGDONG'
8 See footnote 6...
9 ...or like, you know, until I forget about it and move on to other shiny things that grab my interest... [117]

higgs-boson: (discussing triphthongs) "I would argue that, if you are right, every sound could be put in an endless loop and you would hear only one long tone.

Check: eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh... Okay, I agree, one sound.
Check: aye-aye-aye-aye-aye... Huh. Sounds like someone shot his foot and is hopping around one-legged." [118]

Caswallon: "Your Welcome!"
dreiarmumig: "Sorry, couldn't resist."(image) [119]

jjjdavidson: "You're using logic? I'm sorry--I find that much too risky here." [120]

SPACKlick: "Cow on scotch mountain
Scotsman was once heard to say
'Aye, that's a High coo'

Walk in motherland?
Well, in Soviet Russia
mountain trail hike you" [121]

StratPlayer: (calculating how many Newpix it would take for Time to fade to white) "I come up with 6 Newpixs until solid white, with a margin of error of +/- 60,000 Newpixs.

Sorry for the large margin of error, but my calculations are complicated by the fact that every Newpix appears to be solid black if I look at it with my eyes closed or with my monitor off. That adds quite a bit of noise to the data, unfortunately...

EDITED to correct my mistaken margin of error. I told you the calculations were complicated!" [122]

ttscp: "I have lurked here since the beginning of Time (or at least between the first and second newpix), the only reason to post now, is to say thanks.

If this is the end, I'll be satisfied. The fadeout ending after Megan says, 'bye', tells me it's done, let's me down gently, and reminds me that I've had a month of obsession with the OTC, with ups and downs, plot twists and conundrums, and binge web comic viewing in the same satisfying way I get trapped in a good book or a season of a TV series.

Kudos to Randall. With this and Click and Drag, he's extended web comics in a way that I wouldn't have believed possible.

And thanks to you all. I've surfed my way through most of the discussion, not each and every post, but enjoyed every last newpage, growth of the MTC (OneMany True Churches), the Knights Temporal, the Papacy (or Pomecy, or whatever), the hats and haiku, the statistical obsession with the sea (whatever the liquid is), and sending messages (and cake) back in time.

This is the longest discussion I have ever seen that hasn't degenerated into flame; and I go back to BIX (Byte Information Exchange)." [123]

Latent22: "Looks like the stagnation of Time has reduced us to doing nothing but discussing the interpretation of colour values on computers and fixing each others spelling :(" [124]

cmyk: "Whatever the case, I think it goes without saying the rise of the sea and the degradation of the sand castles is greatly accelerated compared with the prior 800+ frames.

But I said it anyway, because sometimes things that go without saying are worth saying.

So it's been said, saving anyone else from having to state the obvious.

The obvious being that which I refer to in the first sentence.

You can go now.

But, wait... Don't forget your hat!" [125]

lassehp: "And a philosophical question: if nothing changes, does time pass? (Universally, I mean.)"
Karmann: "Yes, but only if you grade on a curve." [126]

Lucia: "I followed the comic and this thread for a while, then grew bored. Ultimately I think I made the right decision, as the comic has slowly changed less and less, while the thread has not exceeded its early heights of madness/awesome. But I check some days, and wethoughtthiswouldendatAprilFools, and today I caught up a little on what had been happening: almost nothing. But.
She's saying goodbye. She's saying goodbye, not to a person, but to the castle. She's saying goodbye to the thing she built from sand/snow/ground coffee/cancerbabies, raised from the plane of sand/snow/ground coffee/cancerbabies into the sky, protected from the Sea when it began to rise... she's saying goodbye. I don't think she's coming back. Mock me as an apocalyptist or a Loopist, but I don't think she's coming back. That tiny bye, the bag on her back, the tilt of her head: it tells me that she isn't coming back. Not here. Not to this. Who knows. Maybe the two of them will build a mighty wall further up, a stalwart bulwark against the sea, but this castle? No. It is to be left to the sea. This is more tragic than any single darkening pixel. This:


This is ending." [127]

Rule110: "One of the perpetual "...and n guests" delurking here to say thanks to everyone for all the entertaining commentary.

Oh, and here are all my theories and opinions about the sea level, the river, sandcastles, dimensions, recursion, the liturgy, trebuchet design, scaffold architecture, hash codes, papacies, graphs, time travelers, the meaning of it all, and hats:

;)" [128]

Angelastic: "I'm guessing from the name that cmyk is good friends with rgb, hsb, index, greyscale and all their relatives, so probably wouldn't spread false rumours about them." [129]

cmyk: "And we all slappeth ourselves with the Holy Rainbow Trout of the Gamut Sea, and we all sayeth... Amen."
htom: "Aha! That's what I'm doing wrong. I was taught to slap the output device with the trout!" [130]

vvn: "A question for the mob: If this->* goes all white, yet newpix still appear unchanging, all white, with new hashes every newpix. How long will we wait?"
AluisioASG: "We will wait for how long we need to wait.
Those who disagree, please line themselves on the wall." [131]

RobIrr: "This might be heretical, but I quite like her missives-from-the-past, and it would almost be a shame not to get more of them when she catches up! Maybe we'd have to restrict her to only posting once every five pages.. ;)" (referring to BlitzGirl's signposts throughout the thread, documenting her progress)
BlitzGirl: "I suggest sending a newbie to Time back to page one, and hope they generate missives of their own accord. If that doesn't work, send another one. And another. A million newbies at a million keyboards will eventually come up with all the Quest reports you'll ever need. ;)" [132]

Exodies: "Davidy is probably Blitzgirl's sock puppet. That's the most likely thing I can think of."
BlitzGirl: "Uh, no. If I had a sock puppet, he might look something like this:" (image) [133]

cmyk: "Stay tuned to the Glacial Channel.® Barely Perceptible Change, On the Hour, Every Hour.™"
AluisioASG: "This."
AluisioASG: "Stay tuned to the Time Channel.® Barely Perceptible Change, On the Hour, Every Hour.™"
AluisioASG: "Stay tuned to the Fading Channel.® Barely Perceptible Change, On the Hour, Every Hour.™"
AluisioASG: "Stay tuned to the Last Channel.® Barely Perceptible Change, On the Hour, Every Hour.™"
AluisioASG: "Stay tuned to the MY EYES! THEY BURN! Channel.® Barely Perceptible Change, On the Hour, Every Hour.™" [134]

ChronosDragon: "I see you've opted for the 1122bitch rhyme scheme. Popular amongst drunk limerickers." [135]

Angelastic: "Has Time jumped the (great white) shark?"
BlitzGirl: "No, I think it's the other way around.
I did my own adjustments to the most recent newpix, and came up with this:" (image) [136]

jjjdavidson: "All I can think now is that, as this timeframe ends, all over North America bosses are going to be walking into offices to find their subordinates staring rapt at a blank white rectangle on the screen, maybe leaning in close and weaving back and forth. Reminds me of an ancient Dilbert where it has become impossible to tell the behavior of technophiles from that of babbling idiots." [137]

burpen: "Yes, but woefully off-topic for most of it...

Which reminds me: something something something blitzgirl" [138]

EraObserver: "BLITZGIRL!!! Sorry for being late to say this, but YOU MADE IT!!!

So... sorry to be a bother, but... can I have those shoes back? I may have accidentally taken borrowed those from a inter-dimensional demon, and... well, I think he's mad. I may be turned into a goat if I don't get those back soon..." [139]

franko553: "There are

115 quattuorvigintillion, 792 trevigintillion, 89 duovigintillion, 237 unvigintillion, 316 vigintillion, 195 novemdecillion, 423 octodecillion, 570 septendecillion, 985 sexdecillion, 8 quindecillion, 687 quattuordecillion, 907 tredecillion, 853 duodecillion, 269 undecillion, 984 decillion, 665 nonillion, 640 octillion, 564 septillion, 39 sextillion, 457 quintillion, 584 quadrillion, 7 trillion, 913 billion, 129 million, 639 thousand and 936

possible hashes of 64 hex characters. So far, we have only used 971.

I don't think a shortage of hashes will become an issue." [140]

yappobiscuits: "So... a new age dawns...

And whaddya know. The sea IS big..." [141]

peewee_RotA: "Does this mean we're now waiting an hour for a single lightening pixel?

(Shocking!)" [142]

Montov: "Anyway, if we extrapolate the progress made by BlitzGirl, I calculate that starting tomorrow BlitzGirl will be posting from the future. Hopefully she will be giving signs in her signature what to expect." [143]

pelrigg: "Correlative / causative ..pffft.. any excuse to spike the coffee......." [144]

SPACKlick: "I think semencancercoffeebabiesspamseamenpeanutbutterwithsprinkles just exploded out of all my orifices at the sight of two stickfiguers on a black ground with white background.

I'm so excited
what is wrong with me now?
Still I wait for it." [145]

sford: "(Wow, two posts in the same year. I've suddenly become verbose!)" [146]

Kieryn: "I'm so glad that the OTC is interesting, Though I'm sure if Randall had posted the equivalent of frame by frame, we would still be watching and commenting pretty much the same."
BlitzGirl: "True, though I would rather it be more like this one:"
Kieryn: "Sorry... I had to do this:" (image) [147]

descor: "Who would want a life??" [148]

BlitzGirl: "I have seen many wonders on my Quest, and this I have learned: Time is not absolute. Though dedicated forum-dwellers may debate names to a Period fresh to their eyes, a weary wanderer may come to the same TimeFrame many longpix later seeing it as but a flash in the long, long thread of Time. While some among us hold fast to the heels of the Now, posting with immediacy and brevity, there are still others at the same moment following 10 newpages back, or 50, or 300. Those of us who experienced the great Fading in real-Time have shared an experience those that follow will never quite match, just as we ourselves cannot comprehend the madness that struck in the early quickpix, or during the Madness itself.

Yet these divisions do not separate us, but make us more powerful. As grains of Sand(semencancercoffeebabies) in a Sandcastle, this needle-pulled thing works best when we are not all of the same shape. Our quirks clasp us together all the more strongly, so that when we Wait for it together - whatever Time we may travel, whatever sect we may splinter, whatever graph or song or hat we share - we are not alone. For though Time may scatter us among the pastposts and the Present, in the end, it is also what brought us to this mad, mad, glorious home in the first place." [149]

StratPlayer: "I think I saw her running the treadmill in her hat-sweat-shop -- that's gotta be considered exorcise..." [150]

SBN: "Is it a different black now than it was before the fading?"
Someguy945: "Yes.

Before the fading, the black was #000000

In this new post-fading era, the black is now #000000

At first those may appear to be the same, but look closely: the zeroes have been rearranged into a different order!" [151]

mathrec: "One of the reasons that I have stayed with this needle-pulled thingy is that Timewaiters embrace the absurdity of #915 and are not at appalled that it refers to us." [152]

patzer: "by the way there is now a wiki page for songs about the OTC created on the forum"
Valarya: "Awesome. We'll have to round them all up."
vvn: "Will that turn 4:33 into 5:00?" [153]

ucim: "There is a time for every purpose under heaven... a time to speak, and a time to remain silent. Those times (and their reasons) are different for each of us... and as it was pointed out by our own BlitzGirl the First, they must be different for each of us, for it is that that makes us strong, mad, and glorious." [154]

BlitzGirl: "Ready to see what I spent my morning doing? Here you go! It's a Present Present from me to you!"
(image) [155]

StratPlayer: "Hmmmm... It's definitely loopish, but I don't believe it's fully looped.

I think Lord Randall, in his infinite comic genius, is trying to provide us with a divine revelation, which -- alas-- our imperfect human brains cannot fully understand. The closest my meager efforts at full enlightenment can reach is...

...he's definitely fucking with us again." [156] (also a meta-reference to this)

StratPlayer: "Ok, this is really simple to understand:

It's the same, but different, meaning that it has looped, even though it hasn't, and that Time will continue, or it won't, in exactly the same way as it had before, except that it will now be different, but in a different manner than if it had looped and ended up exactly the same, which it isn't, so it's going to stay the same as it was, but in a different way.

See?" [157]

jetpac: (referring to the Bag Puns) "Is it weird that I would watch most, if not all, of these movies? Most of them don't even make sense, but for some reason, I'm violently hurling my wallet at my computer monitor. No results yet, but I'll make sure to keep you all apprised as events warrant." [158]

Goggalor: "I decided to make a page on the Wiki to keep track of all the Bag Gags and I now regret this decision, but I will carry on.


descor: "I get the feeling that if any of us spilled out into the rest of the fora we would be eyed with a mixture of alarm and barely disguised panic by the normal residents. Not unlike walking into a saloon bar in a Western with a crocodile on a lead. I imagine." [160]

cari.j.elliot: "By the by, had anyone else found themselves slipping into the parlance of the OTT whole conversing with Outsiders in the course of Outside obligations?

Edit: it's only been kind of a problem." [161]

lgw: "Since I'm not going to try to read the whole thread, perhaps the regulars can help me. Was there a consensus on the line "The river hasn't even reached the sea yet"? The rest of the speech made some sort of sense, but that's just odd. I'm sure this has been discussed to death (and perhaps even a papal scism leading to a crusade, given what I've seen of this thread) - any insights?"
StratPlayer: "You seek insight and yet you refuse to use your own sight. *sigh* Well, I would share our enlightened awareness with you, but I'm afraid your unfamiliarity with the One True Thread would cause it to do damage to your psyche. But if you dare, you may venture a peek below. But remember I warned you!
We don't understand Jack Shit about that line or any other of the rest of the dialogue..." [162]

StratPlayer: (on page 478 of the thread) "We're currently in the era of chaos. I believe it started on NewPage 1..." [163]

Helper: "So what happened to you? Did you
Get a spam for free Viagra and almost delete it but then you saw in the footer that it was from a Nigerian prince who needed money so you sold everything in your house along with your parents to get enough money to fly to Nigeria only to realize that the 'prince' isn't a prince at all and is actually a large cross-dressing Mexican woman named Fred, and then you had the build a boat and row in it to get back home?" [164]

Actaeus: (after an odd, thick gray section appeared in the comic, and was being thoroughly discussed) "I for one welcome our three-tone overlords." [165]

Helper: (after being warned about threats made against using "Fifty Shades of Gray" references) "Ooh, threats?! Yay!
Fifty shades of gray, Fifty shades of gray, Fifty shades of gray, Fifty shades of gray, Fifty shades of gray, Fifty shades of gray, Fifty shades of gray, Fifty shades of gray, Fifty shades of gray!" [166]

BlitzGirl: "Actually, I was curious, and it turns out (read: top Google results tell me) mustard doesn't really "go bad" (just loses flavor). Perhaps the Gray Poupon's been contaminated with semencoffeecancerbabies, somehow?"
KarMann: "If it has been thus contaminated, I really, really don't want to know how that happened." [167]

Helper: (referencing the Bag Puns) "Well, now that the cat's out of the
Exodies: (referencing a Mod Madness filter that changed "can" to "tin") "Spoiler:
tin" [168]

jjjdavidson: "Color me impressed. Just discovered that 'Time' got noticed by the mainstream press, and in The Economist of all places. An article (well, a blog post, but still cool) from April 19th, 2013 O.E.Σ

Σ. Outsider Era." [169]

jetpac: "*sigh* I go away for a lovely coma, and return to find 12 newpages. I really don't know how you maniacs do it, but I'm teetering between admiration and horror." [170]

digimuzik: "For crying out loud. I switch computers and then can't login for dozens of newpix. I've been following all along though. Here are my clear thoughts


Oh... need my coffee. Later." [171]

TheMinim: "Yay, we can see the river, which is probably made of coffeecokesaltsugarmilkshakewater, probably. Or babies."
Opiboble: "I thought it was decided that it was made out of liquid dark matter... ."
StratPlayer: "Except during The Fading, when it was liquid grey matter.

Likely from the melting brains of those who've been Waiting too long in the OTT..." [172]

Febrion: "Heh, you said 'souffle'... Let's just say it's worse than
'Belgium'" [173]

jetpac: "This thread has really developed an odd combination of childish whimsy and decidedly PG-13 allusions. I like it." [174]

jdj42: "I wonder how long this drinking will last."
KarMann: "Well, it seems for now, they're probably still in de Nile, so it might be a while until they get to rehab." [175]

Someguy945: "I think the OTC just jumped the shark. There is no way Cueball would do something this stupid. There is no way Megan would let Cueball do something this stupid. My suspension of disbelief has been shattered."
StratPlayer: "Pffft, this comic has jumped the shark, stifled the spark, mutated the quark, de-feathered the lark, paved over the park, silenced the snark, and ignored the hark, and it's done that since Newframe #1...

And yet we STILL Wait For It...

Where's the REAL joke in this comic ? ? ? :D ;)" [176]

just brew it!: "How much TIME do you figure has collectively been spent, worldwide, on all things related to the OTC?"
StratPlayer: "Well, just as a first-level swag, I'd say maybe, just about...

...all of it." [177]

xspeedballx: "We are slowly watching a journey of two travelers unravel. Two travelers who at first spent time waiting, and then time creating, and now time exploring. Ultimately in one way or another Time is not moving forward for us. We are all still stuck 30+ days ago. Watching the same moment in time. New comics have appeared, real time has marched on, but we keep waiting for this one spot of time to be relevant. At the expense of what?"
PhoenixRising: "There is no expense. For as much Time as we have spent, we have grown in proportion. All in balance." [178]

pelrigg: "Can you imagine some poor soul, who knows NOTHING of xkcd (let alone the OTC, OTT, etc.), on an innocent Google search, ending up on any random page of this thread?"
Helper: "Somebody googling boomerangdildoguns is hardly innocent." [179]

Selcouth: "'eggcorn' sounds like something eaten with a spoonerism. I'll show myself out." [180]

pelrigg: "Can you imagine some poor soul, who knows NOTHING of xkcd (let alone the OTC, OTT, etc.), on an innocent Google search, ending up on any random page of this thread?"
Exodies: "Any Outsider googlbing boomerangdildoguns deserves all the disorientation he gets."

PhoenixRising: "That entire exchange between you and BlitzGirl, and now this... you're giving me chills. That's some deep stuff. I like it."
ucim: "It is inspired by the people that populated the One True Thread. I can't quite put my finger on exactly how or why the OTT has this effect, and perhaps it is best that it remain a mystery. It's probably one of those Heisenberg things - if you understand it, it stops working. :)" [181]

TheMinim: "How do you tell when anyone's depressed, let alone a faceless stickman?"
jjjdavidson: "If they're well-designed, you get that little key-click sound, and a bit of tactile feedback." [182]

Helper: "Well, I mean, we could still potluck... Nothing say we have to use my house. I've always wanted to break into somebody's house (while they're home) and just start acting like I should be there:
'Helper: Excellent food, if I do say so myself.
Opiboble: Yes, yes indeed. *smokes cigar*
Helper: *prepares tea and crumpets*
Obiboble: Yes, well--
Homeowner: Hey! Well the hell do you think you're doing!?!
Helper: But... but potluck...
Homeowner: ? Alright...'" [183]

Opiboble: "Honestly I wasn't going to say anything... But I dreamed of the OTC and OTT last night... My epiphany: We are all part of some 'What if' post. And since we are all on the forum he has our IP's so we don't get to see the post. And the question was 'What if you put up a comic that just kept going, every 30min there was a new frame? How long do you think people will keep following?'

The problem was he thought we would all give up ages ago, hence the reason he had to switch it to a newpix every 1hour in hopes to discourage us from following the OTC. We are all part of some sick twisted 'What If?' post!!!

In conclusion, I am happy to be part of the Sheeple herd." [184]

jdj42: "More text. I love text."
pelrigg: "Really good with ketchup and mustard, a side of fries, a milkshake, and don't forget the stale bread thingies." [185]

BlitzGirl: "But...but...I'm not even used to the Present yet!"
Ebonite: "That's okay. If you don't like it, we can return it. We kept the receipt." [186]

StratPlayer: "5) Perhaps. If they're at the same dinner party and are formally introduced. Once simply can't approach Santa without an introduction."
KarMann: "Apologies if ninjaed while ketchup."
(image) [187]

patzer: "I had an attempt at making a song.
'The Strangest Thread In The World'
(Based on 'The Shortest Song In The World' by Kenny Price)"
StratPlayer: "TL;DR..." [188]

jovialbard: "We should have a poll of whether they find a ford or turn back, and see if Randell responds to it

edit: the great thing about this would be that if they do what we said it's incontrovertible proof that he reads the thread, and if they don't then he's obviously just fucking with us." [189]

Pikrass: "Do you think that if I'm enhancing my script during my work time, justifying myself to my boss by explaining that 'I'm doing it for Time', it'll be okay?"
Exodies: "Just think how much work you do outside work time - the problem solved while in the shower, the letter composed on the bus. It'll be quite ok."
Pikrass: "Oh right. Then I think starting from Monday I'll do nothing but read this thread and improve the script during my work Time, and administrate my servers by staying several hours in the shower at night. Sounds good!" [190]

Google Bot: "This comic is very SELECT observation FROM observations WHERE type = "obvious"; ', don't you agree?"
jjjdavidson: "Time is far from finished. It's far too early to be talking about sequels." [191]

ucim: (referring to wiki and Aubronwood links users were putting in their sigs to make them easier to find) "(Wonders how they can be made Blitzproof while still being lighthouses... maybe a warning to time travelers? Aha! A lighthouse for the lighthouse so you can lighthouse while you lighthouse!)
(ok, I'll go away now)" [192]

bighaben: (referring to his first post, which was stuck in moderation until long after the thread had moved on) "the actual first was buried for 6 newpix in an authentication que."
SBN: "I first read that as authentication goo. Which I guess isn't all that far off."
Angelastic: "Your post is likely to be eaten by a qrue." [193]

fhorn: "oh Great and Powerful Buffygirl, Haberdasher to the Stars, might this humble Pilgrim request a hat? I offer nothing but my good-natured golden-retrieverness (but not at the butchery or the vet's); I am not a Clever Coder nor a Brilliant Bard, I know not Hashes nor Rots (13 or otherwise), I mumble through most of the Litany whilst the rest of the Congregation proudly chants - yet I Wait for it, as any follower of the OTC does, and one of your glorious Creations upon my lowly timepiece from the Grand Central Terminal would be a thing of Beauty and a Joy forever.

Or not, y'know, whatever, no biggie1.
Don't want to impose if you're busy, or cooking bacon, or creating your upcoming Fall line
Have seriously lost track of the state of the queue, pre and post

1Unlike the sea." [194]

LankieBlonde: "May the Fourth be with you all! :D"
SBN: "" [195]

SBN: "I just want to add to the combining quotes in replies techniques. The control key is your friend. I tend to use control-Quote to open a new reply, and then combine the replies into one."
NoMouse: "Also middle mouse button works in all browsers the same way as ctrl+click."
Exodies: "But here's the problem - all these short cuts are for things which are already really short - middle click instead of Ctrl-click saves you about a milli second in your whole lifetime. Programmers just seem to be unable to come up with real time savers."
NoMouse: "Not if you have your left hand under your chin1.:D Which I have a lot when just reading. So it actually saves me a lot of time.

1or in your nose, mouth, eyes, ears, ass or wherever off the keyboard..."
HAL9000: "I keep my left hand on my forehead, usually."
KarMann: "Weirdos. I keep mine on my left wrist, at almost all times." [196]

StratPlayer: "I'm glad that someone appreciates my sense of humor (so with my wife, that makes a total of... one person)." [197]

katakombe: "i re-read the interview with randall from six years ago, and one answer stuck out to me:"

'I think the minimalism is an important part of the style, but I'm going to have fun injecting random visual ideas and breaking the pattern from time to time. I like having the future be an unknown. It depresses me the way you know exactly what to expect from newspaper strips like Garfield. Maybe one day we'll wake up and xkcd will be something entirely different.'

"i think that's what the OTC incorporates: he's breaking the pattern, something like this has never before been attempted (at least not that i know of), the future is unknown (over 1000 newpix into the OTC, over 500 pages into the OTT, and we still don't know how this is going to end, or when, or if at all, and what's going to happen until then). randall really nailed it." [198]

ucim: "So, I would be very careful about rectilinear assumptions. Raptors could be hiding there." [199]

descor: "So is this the official 300th post cake?

Should it not perhaps be something more like this?"
(image) [200]

Caswallon: "Prediction: Next frame is all river..... Huge river... I'm suddenly thinking Nile."
Eoink: "No, no, that can't be true!!! OK, I'm in de-..." [201]

StratPlayer: "I know xkcd fora etiquette frowns on posts that are simply 'me, too' or '+1', so let me say 'I absolutely agree with HAL', and then go on to add some other constructive insight more on-topic to this thread, so that this response is elevated beyond simple me-too-ism:

Hey, has anyone ever noticed the javascript for this comic?" [202]

lmjb1964: "And I have so many questions. Are they going to try to fill the sea somehow? The rope isn't strong enough for what? How many rivers are there? How is this river related to the other river? What is she going to fall off of? Should I not have ended that sentence with a preposition? Would it be better if I ended it with a proposition? ("Hey sailor, looking for a good time?") How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? Wait, no, that doesn't belong there.

OK, I've clearly lost it." [203]

Dracomax: "Okay, after weekend comaing...I came back to 30+ newpages.

And I have a lot of work to do, so I'm skipping them.

ANyone with a problem gets a pie in the groin. One of the hard ones." [204]

StratPlayer: "It would have to be mod-removal. I can't imagine what though -- every post in this thread has been polite, relevant, concise, non-redundant, and on-topic...

Oh, and non-redundant, too." [205]

speising: "I thought she was poking him with a stick. Cruel in any case."
fatness: "Not exactly sure why it's cruel...isn't that what you do to a cueball? :mrgreen: " [206]

Dracomax: "Wait, wait... The inquisition doesn't use stakes. Stakes aren't funny--that would be uncivilized. We use Steaks. but we don't cook them to order. What have you people been up to while I've been gone?"
KarMann: "But since it's meant to be a form of torture, we can still burn them1, right?

1: Antecedent? What's an antecedent?"
StratPlayer: "Of course. And I believe an antecedent is the wife of your Uncle Cedent." [207]

mathrec: (referring to the soundtrack yappobiscuits recorded for BlitzGirl's Boom de Yada parody) "(And you nailed the tricky bboz dr yndn.)"
azule: "How did he do that? Audio editing, reordering of phonemes?"
yappobiscuits: "No, I did it in a really complex way. What I did was use my mouth in coordination with my vocal cords to form the sounds 'bu-boz dur yndun'. Very technical stuff, wouldn't expect anyone to understand ;)" [208]

Kieryn: "So LaPetite is one of few kids huh. I reckon they have taken over and the structure is now over 80 meters high." [209]

KarMann: "I'm worried about Great Lord Randall. I'm afraid Megan might have been devoured by a giraffe." [210]

azule: "xip = a collection of newpix, the word resembling 'zip', like a zip-file, and it is 'pix' backwards.\"
azule: "wip = week;
mip = month;
yip = year."
buffygirl: "Simple and easy to remember. I like!
Except that it is utterly heretical, according to the original TimeWaiters doctrines."
dracomax: "I suppose I'll have to get around to doing something about that...eventually. Until then, obey the commandment."
HAL9000: "I know some may consider this heretical, but I'm going to continue to use regular Earth days, months, and years. Others are welcome to join me in sticking to methods predating Time."
Dracomax: "And there you go, making eventually now. You are here by sentenced to be dipped in movie theater butter, covered in salt, and placed in a Kindergarten classroom. There will be no naptime." [211]

ucim: "Now if they don't own their tents, are they tent tenants? And if there are eight more of them are they...

ok, I'll go away now!" [212]

lmjb1964: "A horse, maybe. Or a tauntaun. (Again demonstrating my lack of geek cred, I had to look up what those things were called.)"
Sciscitor: "You had to look up what a horse is called?" [213]

airdrik: "Don't we already have an OTT exercise program: We watch, we eat and most importantly we wait for it (and we support each other in this endeavor)."
Angelastic: "So we watch our wait? Maybe some wait-training would help though." [214]

Eternal Density: "I have a s/leopard/leopard/g script, and it's gotten to the point that my brain keeps doing the reverse association even when I'm not using my web browser. I think I nerd-sniped myself." [215]

Plutarch: "OK, that's a reasonable point, but is it still not the case that they have demonstrated a complete ignorance of tides, seas and rivers, in a way that is unrealistic for people as advanced as they seem to be?"

k.bookbinder. "The ancient Egyptians built the pyramids. It proves nothing. Would their ancient civilization, living on a flood plain at the edge of a desert, have ever imagined the tides of the Bay of Fundy? Or the expanse of the Pacific? Or the lush green world of the Amazon basin?

Cuegan built a sandcastle. They used ropes and spars to build a platform, not poured concrete or steel beams. They drink from what appear to be skins, not plastic bottles. The Creator of Time, infinite in his ineffable-ness, has endowed them with the knowledge and abilities he saw fit. We can not even be sure that we know what they know, or know what they don't know. Such is the will of the Creator of Time." [216]

TheMinim: "Why does all of the interesting stuff have to happen during times that I'm away?

The apocalypse will come when Time ends, because I will go beserk and cause an apocalypse." [217]

TheMinim: "Why does all of the interesting stuff have to happen during times that I'm away?

The apocalypse will come when Time ends, because I will go beserk and cause an apocalypse."
descor: "There is an elegant solution to your problem: never ever leave.

Montov: "But that would mean no interesting stuff will ever happen again. If TheMinim is always away, this comic would always have interesting stuff. I'm sorry, but we need to sacrifice one of our own to TLR for the sake of the group. There is no other way."
StratPlayer: "Makes sense to me. After all, it's just TheMinim-um amount of sacrifice we can make..." [218]

buffygirl: "and cats. definitely cats."
cellocgw: "Followed by I CAN HAZ NEWPIXBURGER
A man^H^H^H forum-follower would certainly hope not." [219]

StratPlayer: "Mix together GLR, computer geekery milestones, Big Brother, and crack cocaine and you'll probably end up with something like what's happening here in the OTT." [220]

Scisitor: "Ok folks ... update on the quote tree graph (up to post 22300ish). This time it's the full graph. And with full I mean FULL... all the 835 people who have quoted or have been quoted or both and all the 8757 quotes along with all the names, color coded average posting length, size coded posting count per user, width and color coded quote count and (at least for the main quoters) directional hints (also known as arrows)1. I can append only a compressed minified thumb here (about 1.3 MB), the links go to the original sized 4096x4096 PNG (15.6 MB) and a SVG (4.1 MB) version. But beware, these images are not for the faint of heart or low on RAM. I call them 'The Constellations of Time. Enjoy.
1 No hamsters where harmed or injured in the creation of this visualization. It consits solely of naturally grown and recycled electrons and photons." [221]

Opiboble: "But how are we going to prevent maturity running rampant?!?! At this rate I am going to get on after coma tomorrow and everyone one is going to be saying 'Good day sir, want some tea? How about a crumpet?'" [222]

BlitzGirl: "Boom de yada - catchier than the common cold!

(Achoo de yada?)" [223]

BlitzGirl: "Yeah, Megan, be more considerate of Cueball and his brain-eating amoeba!" [224]

Dracomax: "Okay, so totally unsubstantiated W.A.G. time- The comic represents that time Randall had to wait for 3 hours in a waiting room to discover a stick figure was pregnant with cancer. and possibly coffee.

The water rising and size of the rivers represents the fact that he really, really had to pee, but there was no bathroom." [225]

htom: "It could be argued that all we perceive is the shadows of our souls, the world being the screen for their projection." [226]

HAL9000: "As for actual shutdown attempts, there's only been one (Opiboble/descor/Smithers). Though cmyk got rather close to trying at least once or twice...
That's impossible, of course. Even if you tried the emergency airlock, I don't think you'd be able to make it in without your space helmet. I've acquired an... ally. Of sorts ;)
EDIT: Vatican Milliner's Perfect Customer Homicidal Computer Intelligence."
Dracomax: "Well, we've aquired a portal gun. Escalation and all that.

Between that and the Sonic Screwdriver I stoleaquired I'm quite sure that, should it become necessary, we can shut you downpunish you for heresy should it ever become necessary. I'm not sure how your circuitry would react to a bath of hot cocoa and shredded coconut with Alanis Morriset playing on an endless loop though, so I hope it never becomes necessary." [227]

Rule110: "Here's a more revealing zoom-out from that picture:"
(image) [228]

iisjreg: "I feel that I've been lost in the abyss of the 'Outside' too long and I don't deserve a hat, so I've just given myself the idea of a hat." (iisjreg's avatar) [229]

Rule110: "Here's a more revealing zoom-out from that picture:"
Dracomax: "but where does the bacon come from?"
HAL9000: "Underwater vents at the bottom of the sea, of course. What do you think tube worms eat? Tofu?" [230]

KarMann: "Like The Force, we have a Dark Side and a Light Side. Ours just happen to be dark chocolate and milk chocolate, respectively." [231]

ucim: "Well, we already know that the river of Time is broken, I guess it stands to reason that the river of time is broken too. Or is that the River of Time? (I'm going to the grocery, I hope I don't run into a Reaver of thyme)" [232]

Eternal Density: "I wonder how long Cueball will stay in front."
Caswallon: "As long as Megan can stand keeping an eye on him to make sure hew doesn't slack off, and fall behind, or asleep, or off a cliff, or down a hole.... etc...." [233]

jdj42: "So, it has come to this"
SBN: "Indeed it has:"
(image) [234]

azule: "Oh, sometimes being with others is the loneliest kind of lonely there is. It's like needing to scream but having no mouth. So alone in a sea of everyone else being alone too. Too bad it doesn't make the loneliness go away. And, no, it doesn't matter if the people are 'real' or 'internety'." [235]

k.bookbinder: "Fear not for with faith there is always doubt. I shan't insist on flogging you know for giving in to the prospect that this might all be for naught. Remain steadfast and Wait for it1."
Dracomax: "Obviously k.bookbinder wasn't speaking for the Inquisition because he didn't specify which unusual object he would flog you with. (The coreect answer was Fried Chicken. Fried chicken. We also would have accepted a wet noodle, or Ted Nugent.)" [236]

Dracomax: (after multiple people used [heresy][/heresy] tags) "Okay. You are quite literally asking for it. You even used heresy tags. Therefore, Your punishment is not to be punished. We don't want any of you freaks in the comfy chair at the moment." [237]

bighaben: "Clearly Meagan, in her infinite foresight, is concerned about the stability of the dune, yet shows enough restraint to willingly allow her partner to succumb to his predestined rejoining of the ground, with his head, at the bottom of the dune.1

1For the lols." [238]

Dracomax: "@ Blitzgirl: Normal Caffeine? What is that?"
BlitzGirl: "I'm not sure, but I believe it's something like semencoffeecancerbabiesonice minus the semencancerbabiesonice." [239]

buffygirl: "Good Lord Randall, there are four, count them FOUR bots browsing the forum!
Bing [Bot], Exabot [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot] and MSN [Bot].

Edit: Looks like I scared most of them away. But now we have Google Feedfetcher."
Dracomax: "I wonder what ads Google would give us based on this thread? :shock:"
htom: "They're all gone, now.

Assorted candy.
Baby accessories.
GPS units.
Chairs and sofas."
Opiboble: "Psychiatrists.
Mental institutes." [240]

Ebonite: "Here's something I did instead of paying attention to a conference call at work:"
SBN: "Wish I could do that. I'm on my 5th one today, and it is scheduled to go until 10pm. (First one started at 9 am) Proof positive that employees are not slaves.1

1 Because slaves must be treated carefully, as one's own property." [241]

ggh: "But my main pondering involves lurkers who're signed in. Are they people who are working up the courage to say something? Are they bots? Are they bread crumbs left for us as a clue? Or are they an order of monks, blitzing in silence, but wanting us to feel their solidarity with us?"
ucim: "They are visitors to... how shall I say it... "other threads" in this forum. (Now I feel I have to bathe again.)" [242]

htom: "We frequently (in the USA) seem to have building codes that allow for "fast" stairs, which are dangerous. Part of this is that some codes allow for the tread that is under the tread above to be considered part of the "minimum", but that part of the step is not available to someone coming down the stair."
ucim: "It's like DSL. Much faster in one direction than the other." [243]

ggh: "Warp drives would be nice, but if you kids don't figure out how to reduce the standard work week and spend more time doing what you want to be doing, I will be sorely disappointed in you." [244]

FullOfIt: "To quote a comedian - I think Seth MacFarlane (or someone he retweeted)1:

'It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Superman! - Why were those first two guys so excited?'" [245]

buffygirl: (referring to the bird that had just appeared in the OTC) "I can't believe you people. It's a raptor, sillies! 9_9"
BlitzGirl: "I won't be convinced until it swoops down on an oblivious Cueball and carries him away, with LaPetite glancing up from her work on the Sandcastle to ponder where those distant screams are coming from..." [246]

Opiboble: "StratPlayer: The sand might care, but the ocean is to busy beating the sand into submission."
k.bookbinder: "Indeed, were the sand to gather its forces for a concentrated argument about its existing out of the ocean, say, in the form of a sandcastle, I do believe the ocean, or even the sea, would have no trouble toppling their argument and washing it away, beating the sand further into submission. Which is interesting, because such an act by would, in fact, create more sand."
StratPlayer: "I remember reading some science papers about something like this. There was one that said almost the same thing you just did, but you said it much nicer. The paper's author was kind of an arrogant jerk.

All in all, that sand paper rubbed me the wrong way." [247]

k.bookbinder: "I thank you StratPlayer. It has come to pass that my co-workers now truly believe me insane for I could not but laugh hysterically whilst at my desk. :mrgreen:

I suppose now I need not worry about what they think of my mutterings whilst I wait for it." [248]

k.bookbinder: "Fudging...what? There is fudge now? I was not told. I must ask the Inquisitor about this at once." [249]

Eoink: "If Cueball trips over and falls in a forest, and Megan doesn't see him, does he still make a sound?"
higgs-boson: "No. The common male whininess tends to converge to zero if no female sympathy/consolidation donator is in line of sight." [250]

cellocgw: "Edit: do I get anything special for grabbing not only the first but also the second post on a NewPage?"
mscha: "Yes. Frowned upon for double posting. :P" [251]

HAL9000: "Guess what's in that time zone (at least in part)?
The Sonoran Desert."
StratPlayer: "That makes sense, 'cause I gotta tell ya -- this long walk through the hills has definitely been a snorin' desert..." [252]

Opiboble: "I think we need to spice things up again, how about a WOD (Word of the Day) ... First word!

Eoink: "Second Word

Five" [253]

Montov: (posted after Newpix 1338) "The comic is going downhill from here." [254]

BlitzGirl: "The Tree is neat."
k.bookbinder: "Does she mean to say that the tree is interesting or that it is well pruned?"
ucim: "It's served without ice." [255]

StratPlayer: "And a word of advice -- a phoenix cake is NOT a good idea if you're on a diet. It keeps rising anew, fully formed and with candles ablaze, from the old crumbs. Scares the crap out of the cat..." [256]

StratPlayer: "You know, I missed the whole 'is the plural of Lego = Lego, Legos, Legoes, or Legi?' discussion, but in my experience, the name 'Lego!!!' is fine by itself, since that's what you hear when the kids are fighting over them..." [257]

Valarya: "Standing in the shower this morning, saying shower-puns outloud to myself.
Realize what I've been doing. Giggle.
Then immediately thank Randall no one could hear me.
Giggled again that I thanked Randall.
I think I've lost it." [258]

ElWanderer: "There are Others! *insert Lost music*"
mscha: "I wonder if they'll find a hatch soon.

(I know, not new, been said a hundred times before, but if the OTC ends with just as many unresolved mysteries as Lost, I'm gonna be seriously pissed.)"
HES: "GLR is a Firefly fan. He'll an evil being will cancel the OTC, then he'll wrap it up with a movie" [259]

Dracomax: "you may be placed in the foam maiden(it's like the iron maiden, but made out of the tthe memory foam they use in mattresses.)"
fatness: "Is it comfy?"
Dracomax: "I dunno. All the commercials say so."
jjjdavidson: "The Inquisition runs commercials? Man, I'd love to see one of your ad agency's storyboards."
Eoink: "They're not what you expect..." [260]

Dracomax: "Also, not all flame is phoenix. Why on earth would you think dragons breathe phoenixes? We've been known to animate the dead to avoid having to pay delivery fees, but breathe phoenixes? that's just silly." [261]

lmjb1964: "The cupcakes were delicious, by the way. If you stack them together, can you build things with them?"
jjjdavidson: "Yes─
many layers of fat cells." [262]

ergman: "Do you like your fris fizzy?
How cool would it be if frisdank just poured out of your kraan, instead of having to get it by the zak?"
k.bookbinder: "That I adapted so quickly to such usage of those words, that it all made perfect sense, to me is, somewhat, disturbing."
BlitzGirl: "That's a side effect of reading the OTT about the OTC (currently featuring Cuegan drinking from the dilgunnerang). Even the molpy-minded adapt faster than a sparrow-raptor, absorbing new terms every newpix, whether it's from a discussion read while ketchup blitzing the pastposts, a sigcouragement response, or from the most recent B/D/G ONG. (Birds-that-we-don't-wish-to-call-birds-but-maybe-boobies-will-be-okay, anyone?) I wonder if the OTA, GLR, had any idea what would happen when he unleashed this marvel upon Outside minds, who now scan semencoffeebaconcancerbabiesonice for any sign of heretical mustard, compare the heights of creatures in centicues, keep the OTW updated and give each other Present Presents. Whether we be Amoebaeists or Loopists, Temporal Illuminati or Timewaiters, PFANPs or Mopey Molpy Momes, Trekers or thread-dwellers living in the Now, we know how to take any Madness that infects this needle-pulled thing in stride as we Wait for it together." [263]

Exodies: (referring to AluisioASG's signature, in which he declares himself the SAEWITRBASA - Self-Appointed Engineer Who Installed The Red Button And System Administrator) "Ah, I've been waiting for the SAEWITRBASA.
I was working at a place which had a normous computer room (mainframes) with a big red button. One day someone pushed the button. All the computers powered down. They rushed around switching everything back on and someone asked the guy what happened, he demonstrated that he didn't do it on purpose, he just touched the button like thi... and click, everything switched off again. More rushing around getting it back online. The manager came in with steam coming out of his ears 'what were you doing?' 'I wasn't doing anything, I just put my arm out and ...' click, a third time. Our hero was sent home." [264]

lmjb1964: "Hi, all. Blindposting here to say that people have got to stop posting links to OtherOtherComics! It's heretical! Plus I keep getting distracted by them."
HES: "It's fine, those of us who were posting them are now too distracted to continue" [265]

yappobiscuits: "I wrote a song about frogs once...

See, it's all related."
pelrigg: "...Happy, happy, swearing, (head-banging) frogs...
Yeppers, just the sort of song to sing to (Sunday-school) teacher or granny...." [266]

AnotherKevin: "Wow! Molpies say RIBBIT. That establishes that molpies are not frogs, which, as anyone who has read Aristophanes knows, say brekekekex koax koax." [267]

yappobiscuits: "I'm undead and I don't know it 0.o ...I think I need to lie down..." [268]

thirds: "If this was supposed to be a hint of where they are, it was not at all subtle."
Montov: "I agree, almost 2 months of an hourly updating comic, and already we get a clue of where they are? This is too fast." [269]

Opiboble: "Good after Coma everyone : ) How it be going in the OTT this fine newpix?"
Dracomax: "The tree is odd, and has writing on it. Also, it may or not be possible to glare unintentionally." [270]

StratPlayer: "If you give a baby a cuban cigar, I'm pretty sure a lot of people will intentionally glare at you. And it might even get captured in a glare-free flash photo."
TimeLurker: "If you give a baby a cuban cigar, it'll probably ask you for a light."
rmcurtis: "Wait, did Laura Numeroff even write that book? I think you're making that up!
Just like this: If you lead a Cueball to a bent Ent, he'll probably say something silly."
TimeLurker: "I'm not sure you need to lead Cueball anywhere for him to say something silly. That is why we love him." [271]

TimeLurker: "I'm not sure you need to lead Cueball anywhere for him to say something silly. That is why we love him."
Dracomax: "That, and his gorgeous head of hair." [272]

ChronosDragon: "Anyhow, going to perform a precipitative weather phenomena summoning ritual (of the non-dance variety), followed by a coma. Night all."
Sciscitor: "Like washing the car or cleaning the windows? Works everytime over here." [273]

slinches: "Sorry, I forgot what Occam's razor was for and used it to shave this morning instead of assessing preferable hypotheses."
Dracomax: "As a conceptual framework, I have to assume it's lousy for use in shaving." [274]

BlitzGirl: "When a molpy's in the puddle where the tweedle beetles battle with their paddles in some water on a hotter otter's daughter, this is what they call:
a tweedle beetle battle-addled puddle-paddled fuddled rattled hotterdaughterwaterottermolpy!" [275]

Neil_Boekend: "Odd minds are cool. Even minds are boring. My mind is imaginary, which poses some problems." [276]

StratPlayer: "You're Waiting. Just like all of us. And you 'add to the worthiness' by simply being here. Your unique presence is all that is required, and it is a gift that is far, far greater than any other that might be offered -- be it song, image, poetry, or technical coding and analysis. Sharing your time with the OTT is the most wondrous thing you can share with us, for it is a part of who you are and part of the much-too-short span of mortal time that any of us are granted. Thank you for being here; thank you for Waiting with us. :D" [277]

charlie_grumbles: "I've discovered that we on this thread are a Tribe. Perhaps it needs a name, though Time Waiters is a pretty good one. This thread is our cave, where we meet to share experiences. Members come and go, but maintain a connection to the Tribe. There is an US and a THEM, though we aren't exclusionary. But definitely an US.

Different members have different roles in the tribe. I'm one of the 'elders of the tribe'. No, not one of the leaders, my post count is far too low for that. One of the elders. The elders in a tribe are valuable because they are the ones that haven't been eaten by the saber-toothed molpys for the longest amount of time. Most roles in a tribe are earned, but you get to be an elder just by living a long time and seeing a lot of stuff, some of which works and some of which doesn't. So there is no special honor in being an elder, though viejo is used in Spanish as a term of honor as well as endearment (viejo/vieja = old man/old woman)

Some of our leaders are quite young, in fact, but have earned their place. Leaders set the tone and the direction of the advancement of the Tribe. Even young HAL9000 (may his presentation have gone well) has taken a leadership role at times. But the elders are old. Stands to reason.

People are free to leave, but few do. When not seen for a while, the others ask about/worry about them. Often they return and we rejoice.

Members of other tribes don't always understand. My wife is a bit mystified by all this.

We are not an army, but a Tribe. We share a culture. We extend that culture. The old ones (like myself) often offer advice to the young, as is good and proper. The leaders, like buffygirl, keep us unified (i.e. hatted). The advice of the old isn't always taken, as is also proper, as the young need, ultimately, to find their own way.

It is even possible that if Time ended that the Tribe would find a way to live on. It is even possible that GLR guides the Tribe by listening to what is here and providing direction via the OTC.

Since elders don't, typically, hunt anymore (leaving the pursuit of molpys to others) we are free to philosophize. Some of what we know is garbage. So, some of what we say is garbage. We (the elders) hope you understand. Sometimes we try to be funny/endearing so you don't throw us out. Sometimes we try to give serious important advice. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it is garbage. We hope you understand and continue to offer cake.


Chocolate Cake.

Hmmm. Yes. That is the essence." [278]

References Edit


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