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The Litany of Time, also called the Litany of the Waits, is based on the spoken dialog from the One True Comic, "Time."  As words reveled from within the comic, the Litany is considered to be holy text.

Use of the Litany of TimeEdit

The Litany is part of most of the religions of Time, although different sects may perform it in slightly different ways.  The differing interpretations do not alter the fact that the Litany is revered as the Holy Words of Time, as revealed by Megan and Cueball.

Most recitations of the litany involve the leader and congregation exchanging the holy words in a formalized way as part of a religious service.

Text of the LitanyEdit

Below is one interpretation of the Litany (as The Litany of the Waits), with suggestions for actions during the service:


Leader: Later!
People: Bye!
Leader: Wanna swim?
Unison: Yeah!
Leader: Pffthh
People: *cough*
Leader: You ok?
People: Just got some in my mouth.
Leader: Any idea where the river is now?
People: Still pretty far out. It's actually retreated a little this week.
Leader: I don't understand what the sea is doing.

(All observe a meditative silence)

Leader: I don't think we can build it much taller than this.
People: It's been fun, though!

(The leader makes a sipping sound)

Leader: Pfffth Pthuh!
People: Yuck.
Leader: I've had worse.
People: Guess one of us should climb down.
Unison: Yeah.
Leader: The sea is rising.
Unison: Yeah.
Leader: Sea level rises and falls, right? It's changed before.
People: Not this fast.
Leader: The river hasn't even reached the sea yet.
People: The river is small. The sea is big.
Leader: How big?
People: I don’t know.

(Several beats of silence are observed.)

Leader: Does it Rain on the Sea?
People: I don't know; if it does it seems like a waste.
Leader: It rains in the hills where the river comes from, right?
People: Sure.
Leader: Are there other rivers?
People: I don't know.
Leader: There must be other rivers.
People: Otherwise the sea would dry up.
Leader: Maybe it's coming out of the ground.
People: Does that happen?
Leader: I don't know.

(Another moment of silent reflection.)

Leader: I don't know how the sea works.
People: I don't know how anything works.
Leader: I don't think it's going to stop.
People: The sea can't just make more of itself forever.
Leader: It can do whatever it wants. It's the sea.

(Contemplation of this revelation)

Leader: There must be a reason. There's a reason for everything.
Unison: Yeah.
Leader: But it's not always a good reason.

(Pause for tolling of the Time Bell, then meditative silence)

Leader: There must be other rivers.
People: Maybe something is wrong with them.
Leader: I like our castle
People: I think it's going to go away.
Unison: Yeah.
Leader: Do you think there are other rivers?
People: Something is adding water to the sea
Leader: Does it have to be water? Maybe something is adding more land somewhere...
People: And it's making the sea overflow.
Leader: Or maybe it's just raining somewhere
People: We have no idea what's out there.
Unison: Yeah.
Leader: Want to find out?
People: Yes!
Leader: I'll get some bags

(gets out the holy knapsacks)

People (softly): bye.

(pause for passing of collection plate, singing of the holy song parodies, and perhaps ritualistic flatulence, then once silence is restored...)

Leader: Have you ever been this far?
People: Not this way.
Leader: Maybe the sea doesn't end.
People: We haven't walked very far.
Unison: Yeah
Leader: But that's what the first part of not ending looks like.

(another toll of the Time Bell)

Leader: If we don't find something today, we'll have to start using the steam bottle.
People: Ugh...
Leader: Yes
People: Yes what?
Leader: There are other rivers
People: The river isn't moving that fast. I could--
Leader: Too dangerous
Unison: Yeah

(Tossing of the Holy dilgunnerang, which involves knocking over some priceless artifact...)

Leader: It's OK. It was an accident
People: You're right though.
Leader: About what?
Leader: The river's not moving that fast
People: It can't be flowing much faster than we walk
Leader: Even if it's as deep as it is wide, I don't think it's enough water
Unison: Yeah
Leader: And this river doesn't look broken
Unison: Yeah
People: It's pretty neat, though
Unison: Yeah

(...the dilgunnerang returns and typically narrowly misses a parishioner)

Leader: Sorry.
People: No, right. Forgot.
Leader: It's still rising
People: It's strange.
Leader: Rivers flow to meet the sea.
People: Maybe the sea couldn't wait.
Leader: Walk upriver to find a Ford? Or turn back?
People: We can't go back. We don't understand everything yet.
Leader: "Everything" is a little ambitious.
People: We barely understand anything.
Unison: Yeah.
Leader: But that's what the first part of understanding everything looks like.

(The congregation stands and begins moving through the aisles in holy procession)

Leader: If nothing else, I'm glad we found this river.
People: It's not much farther from home than ours at its driest.
Leader: Oh. This river is even bigger than it looked.
People: Maybe it is big enough to fill the sea.

(The time bell tolls gain and the people return to their seats)

Leader: Our rope isn't strong enough.
People: What?
Leader: Hold this or you'll fall.

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